Dementia or Alzheimer?

[Arlene Dukes]

I've got a phobia when a person is having memory lapses. I remember about my father-in-law who died without a cure for his Alzheimer. I 'm worried that my mom now is developing this type of disease. It might be due to his age or she has a brain disease that causes a slow decline in memory. I hope it's not... What are the things you know about Dementia and Alzheimer? This is to help me sort out if my mom needs consultation already. Please share if you have the same experience with your parents or grandparents.

[jfsully]

It’s never wrong to get a medical opinion, best would be from a cognitive/behavioral neurologist, if one is available near you.

What kinds of things is she forgetting? Do reminders help? Is she aware of the lapses? Is there any change in the way she is speaking or in her personality? How old is she, and does she have any medical problems or take medications that can affect cognition? These are some of the things they will ask, to help steer you and her toward reassurance and/or further testing.

There are probably message boards designed for this specific question, instead of a sub forum on a strength training site, but you asked it here, so...

[carson]

My mother developed serious signs of dementia several years before we had to place her in a nursing home. I lived several miles away and it fell to one of my sisters to care for her. But when I would phone her often repeated the same things over and over again. She was in her mid to late 60s when she began this behavior and was in her mid 70s when she died. I remember the last time I visited her face to face. She thought I was her grandfather. It's hard to tell. Maybe she saw her grandfather and I was only an observer. I'm in that age bracket now I ponder much about this.

[Arlene Dukes]

My mom keeps on repeating same things and forgetful of some past events. She can't recognize other relatives close to her. By the way, just to be sure, I ask for some medical opinion and she was diagnosed with an early stage of dementia. So as to help her cope with life easier, we were advised to get counseling here (Depression. Causes, Tips & Advice For The Disorder | BetterHelp). I'm hoping that they will make her life normal as soon as possible.

[Kevin.Imel]

Very simple test you can do as a first step. Alzheimer's Clock Draw Test -- Detect the Signs of Alzheimer's Early - Alzheimer's Reading Room

[jfsully]

Very simple test you can do as a first step. Alzheimer's Clock Draw Test -- Detect the Signs of Alzheimer's Early - Alzheimer's Reading Room

This is a very non-specific test, which does not test for Alzheimer's in particular, and early in dementia it is not especially sensitive (meaning that an OK clock does not rule out mild or early stages of dementia).

[MashedTaters]

Dementia is a collection of symptoms due to other conditions, e.g., Alzheimer's, mini-strokes, Parkinson's, Huntington's, etc. My mom was diagnosed with dementia, probably due to Alzheimer's.

She was diagnosed in 1992 and died in 2003, age 90.

FIND A LOCAL SUPPORT GROUP. While a support group can be talk-about-your-feelings, etc., it is more important as a source of information, where to go for help, and ideas about dealing with your situation. Others' experiences can be valuable information.

YOU WILL NEED HELP. If the primary care-giver burns out, then no one is cared for. This is why you need to join a support group.

Your memory is like an onion where the outer layers are your most recent memories. As the dementia progresses, most recent memories are lost; that is, the outer layer of the onion peels away and the patient is left with memories from long ago. In other words, the patient is in another world now. DO NOT try to bring him/her back to your world; you will only upset them. If the patient thinks JFK is President, well then, by God, JFK is President.

This sounds crass, but use the dementia to your advantage. Around year 3 or 4, my mom's memory was pretty bad. We moved her to a new facility. She was disoriented and upset. We told her that she was there temporarily while a room was being prepared in our home for her. It calmed her a little. Every time I went to see her, I gave her the same story about moving in with us when her new room was ready. She never knew the difference and eventually stopped asking.

It helps a LOT if all siblings are on the same page. That is, you don't have a sibling saying, "Mom's just fine."

If you move the patient to a facility, try, if you can, to get their jewelry away from them for safe-keeping. I didn't and my mom's wedding ring was stolen.

We had to take away the car keys. Not fun. I know some states will do this for you so you're not the bad guy. I'm not sure what is required for this to happen. I know; it's tough, but think of the liability exposure. What if, God forbid, the patient is involved in an auto accident and injures or kills someone else. It has happened.

I wish you the best with this. It's not easy, but with help, you will be ok.

[Mark D]

I've experienced these types of things twice, so I'll relate both stories.

My father-in-law died last November of Alzheimer's related causes at age 89. He'd always been active and very intelligent, but a few years ago he started doing things like repeating himself, re-telling stories he'd told just a few minutes before, forgetting how to do things he'd always done (like bowling or playing poker), getting confused, etc. The real wake-up call was when he took a solo trip to Atlantic City (he usually went with a neighbor) and didn't come home that nigh, he apparently spent HOURS wandering around the parking garage looking for his car which had been stolen. My mother-in-law got a call from Security the next day. That's when they took his car keys away.

He was diagnosed with dementia/Alzheimer's. There are drugs which can slow the process, and there are things to avoid if at all possible because they can speed the decline (a big one here is general anesthesia, he was in considerable pain from his hip and needed a replacement, but couldn't have it because dementia patients often have a severe decline after anesthesia, so they treated him with pain management, his last few months he was pretty much confined to a wheelchair).

Second story: In 1989 my mother showed signs of confusion, forgot how to operate her washing machine. We thought it might be Alzheimer's but he happened very suddenly and quickly. Tests showed she had metastatic brain cancer (never found the primary), she died seven months after diagnosis.

So make sure you rule out other possible causes too.

Best of everything to you. I know from experience it's not easy, and as time goes on the definition of "normal" changes.

[Bestafter60]

At 84, my mom called together or family of 8 grown children and our spouses and announced she had early Alzheimer's. To a one we protested, reminding her she had always been forgetful about little things, and would often pause waiting for a word to come to her in conversation.

She exercised a lot, so beyond genetics I blame her fasting and lack of sleep for the decline. She was deeply religious.

We were taking turns having her for a year each. The others would relieve the primary caregiver by taking her in alternation to their homes each weekend. It dawned on us later just how disruptive this must have been on her!

After a bad first home I found her a gem of a place called Settlers Ridge, where she lived until 93. She initially suffered sundowners syndrome, where she and others in mid-decline sense sundown and try to escape. As others already said, she lost recent memory and often confused her children with her brothers and sisters.
Visits were always painful as she continued to slip away. We wondered if we were visiting for her or for us. She didn't know us, and we of course were racked with guilt for not doing enough.

Her death was a reprieve, for her no doubt, and for us. After her sad funeral we got together at my house, about 20 of us, and let our Irish heritage come out. We did shots. We drew numbers. Then one by one my 7 brothers and sisters and I stood in front of the crowd, downed a shot, and expounded at length just why mom loved us the best. Mom was finally at peace, we were together, and remembered her well.

[IlPrincipeBrutto]

We wondered if we were visiting for her or for us. She didn't know us, and we of course were racked with guilt for not doing enough.

I can relate to this.
Thank you for your moving post.

IPB