Originally Posted by
Jenni
I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Primarily, because as I read things and learn the shit people get up to I'm constantly finding myself thinking "oh, well, before that things were more above board". Like, I knew that most modern wars were less about the safety of the American homeland and more about stuff (oil, power) and money. But the more I read about WWII the more I think that shit wasn't necessary at all. Which makes my little brain gears turn and wonder like really- how far back does this shit go? Did we ever have a chance? Or was it all just 'you have the freedom you can get if you can survive far away from the centers of civilization.' Like really, how far back? How much of what we think we know about the Civil War was bullshit? How about the founding of the country? We just have to spend our lives constantly answering to people who aren't worth a damn because they are so threatened by those of us that are they make laws to limit what we can do? In general, I try to live outside the shit so I don't much worry about it. I don't cling to their little cotton shreds they call "money". I don't really care what's illegal or legal because I can make or grow what I like. But it pisses me the fuck off quite often in spite of my best intentions. It pisses me off that they want a piece of what I get for reasons that don't make a bit of sense. Then it pisses me off when they tell me I can't defend myself. I didn't like in fifth grade when Shane Burns needed his ass kicked and I don't like it now. It pisses me off that they smile those shit-eating grins at us and tell us we're racists and criminals when we act like normal people are supposed to act. Like George said, we're running out of places to run.
I'm altering my long term plan. I probably won't take over the family farm. My cousin needs it anyway, so that's handy. I'll eventually sell this property that's been in my family for 60 years and go west because life in any city is quickly becoming untenable. I can't get old here. That pisses me off. I'm going to have to cede ground that belongs to me because I'm outnumbered by idiots and pussies whose lives will be in danger when they push me to the breaking point and I am a decent person. It's a hard position. It's hard to be calm and steady and not react. It's hard to let people shove me about because they don't realize shoving me about is a dangerous prospect. It's hard to be in the right and still lose and I think we all struggle with that. We struggle with when to react more intensely. I struggle with am I able to remain a decent person or is that an illusion granted me by luck and circumstances.