Training and Dogs

by Jim Steel | January 01, 2025

I was proud of myself yesterday. I was proud of myself for training when I didn’t want to. I was showing tremendous weakness and I was full of excuses.

My first excuse was that it’s hunting season. It’s goose season here and it's my favorite thing to do in the world. Everything gets put on hold during this time, much to my wife’s chagrin. I have done it every year for 33 years. It’s also what my Labradors have always been trained for: retrieving geese. I train them all year for these weeks of the season. I hunt my friend’s farm down in Maryland, about a 45 minute trip from the house. In order to get down there in time to put out the decoys and get all set up, I usually get up between 4:30 and 5 AM. I get home after 12 PM, sometimes later if I stop at Wesley’s Bar and Grill for a beer. So I was sleepy and I wanted to take a nap.

But although I was sleepy, I knew that I was not going to be able to take a nap. Because I have a new Labrador puppy, Tank. Tank comes from hunting Lab stock. These dogs aren't those broader-looking Labs like you see in dog shows. These dogs are lean and fast, and beyond hyper. You will get tired of throwing the retrieving bumper before they get tired of retrieving it.

I really don’t know why I got a puppy. I already have a Labrador, Rebel. He’s Tank’s uncle, by the way. I realized the time commitment that a puppy takes before I went and picked him up. It made me a little queasy just thinking about it. I have had many puppies, all hunting Labs. I knew that it was going to be awful. Up three times a night because he has a tiny bladder. I hate when he drinks water. I ask him, “Haven’t you had enough water?”

I sleep on the couch downstairs next to his crate and when he wakes up, I put on my jacket and go outside. I already sleep in sweatpants and have my shoes set and ready for when I have to go out with him. But the problem is that I’ve had this damn dog for over a month and he’s still not house trained. We are still going outside at 1:30 and 4:30 AM to use the bathroom and he still has accidents in the house. My boy Labs seem to take forever to mature, like they are in perpetual adolescence. The girl Labs that I have had seem to catch on faster, although they can get a little bitchy at times. The boys like to fool around and be babied and the girls are all business.

I knew as soon as I got home from hunting that it was Tank Tank Tank all the livelong day. Damn, Tank has me sleep deprived along with the hunting. Yes, I know I do all of this to myself. I always do and I never learn. But I was still using all of it as an excuse not to train.

And my back or hip or knee or maybe all three are all screwed up. One day, I went to the gym and did some leg presses which I never do, but I got it in my head that I would do some leg presses for some reason, and I screwed up my lower left side of my body, maybe sciatica from a disc, maybe groin, but it ain’t pleasant. So I have been limited in doing anything remotely manly, which pisses me off. I’ve been going to the gym and doing these pressing and pulling machines and supported rows and push ups, and curls and pushdowns. And I walk with the sled backwards in my yard once a week. So honestly, doing this type of training makes me not want to go to the gym. I’d rather sit in the woods and drink beer and think of squat sessions gone by. Freaking pushdowns is the highlight of my training session. How far I have fallen. Just another excuse ringing in my head.

And I was also thinking that I had trained a lot lately and a day off wouldn’t be a big deal. I don’t really have a set program anymore. I train for a few days in a row and then I’ll take a day off, usually on a Saturday. Problem was that I had just taken a day off a few days ago. I knew I should do something, training-wise. My workouts don’t take much out of me. I recover from all that soft training rather quickly. So I really didn't need a day off, I was just making another excuse.

I got it in my mind that I should do the sled workout. I hadn’t done my backwards sled walking in a while, which I do in my backyard. Since I perform it in my backyard, I didn’t even have to drive the 30 minutes to the gym, I just had to walk down my back step, go under the deck, remove the tarp from my always-loaded sled with belt and chain attached, walk out into the yard and walk with the sled. I actually said to myself out loud, “Get up, now!” and I hopped up off of the couch, and the dogs and I went out back. I uncovered the sled and got to work.

Five-year-old Rebel stood on the deck and watched while I walked and Tank ran circles around me with a stick in his mouth. Rebel likes to keep his distance from Tank, who tries to bite Rebel’s testicles as they swing while he runs. Tank runs with his mouth open, a few inches from Rebel’s swinging testicles, and Rebel runs away for the preservation of his balls. I walk with the sled around 30 yards and then I drop down and do 20 pushups, then I stand up and start walking again. I do 10 total trips and 200 total pushups and I’m sweating and breathing hard, and I felt great.

I was glad that I had done it. I guess that I have never regretted doing a training session, I am always thankful that I got it done. The best part was after my shower, Tank was so tired from all the running around that I was able to take my nap after all.